by David Rogers
You fill out no application
there’s not even a form for that
no need to work miracles
or do anything very remarkable
Heroics are strictly optional
Take Achilles for example
his main accomplishment
was to be kind of a bully
who as it happened could also
swing a sword with ease
a weapon so heavy
most fighters could barely
lift it
A small talent and connections
with the right people
are all you need
Consider Midas
who had a good PR agent
to justify his ill-gotten wealth
and explain why he avoided
family and friends
Or Leda
whose father had to do
something to explain the baby
and his daughter’s odd
fondness for that bird
Any unusual act
or talent is really
enough to get started
as long as it sparks outrage
at least among righteous
conservatives
and curiosity in the everyone else
That and a bit of luck
the right parents
or the right sort of misfortune
and a clever
little narrative to give
it all context
will go a long way
Perhaps a pair of wings
made of wax and gull feathers
found on the beach
lean in the corner
and prop up a story
that lasts for centuries
especially if it fills a gap
in people’s need to believe
If all else fails
hitch a ride on a flying saucer
swear you were kidnapped
held at ray-gunpoint
forced to endure experiments
you’d rather not discuss
If you tell the tale
the right way
in a few millennia
you will likely be
inducted into the pantheon
